#138 The dis-ease of digital distraction and Vedanta

You are working on finalizing the plan for the next quarter on your laptop. Your phone pings. There are notifications on whatsapp and telegram. You glance at your laptop and many emails have popped into your inbox in the last hour. Some office colleagues urgently want your input on slack. The doorbell rings – you had ordered a lot of things from Amazon. There are situational distractions. You get back to the project at hand. Finally you call it a day with strained eyes and a stiff back.

You want to unwind. Your partner is busy catching up with some work on his or her laptop and so are your children. After dinner, you dreamily check Netflix which shows you the top trending shows. Curious and intrigued and having a fear of missing out, you start a particular season. The first episode is so gripping that you have to watch what happens next. You don’t know how an hour just rushes until you see the clock. It is past 12 in the night. You are so tempted to watch more but you see that you need to go to bed and reluctantly you lie in bed seeing the messages on your social media feed. After all, don’t you have a right to relax after working so hard. You go to bed feeling overwhelmed with all that needs to be done the next day including catching up on the rest of the shows on Netflix. Sounds like a familiar scene for many of us ?

Over the past few episodes we have explored our relationships with our life karma, our parents, our body-mind and people.  A very important relationship that we also need to explore and modify as required is our relationship with digital devices which include – laptop screens and mobile devices.  How can one have a relationship with these devices? But we do!

From setting an alarm to connecting with our loved ones, to having reminders, to making notes, to watching entertainment, to listening to music, to monitoring our health parameters to working and so on, to checking social media updates, our phones and computers seem to be an integral part our everyday lives.

The irony of this episode is that you are listening to this podcast on a digital device mostly a mobile phone and the irony is not lost on me. 

We have become dependent on these tools and for some it is to the point of addiction. A lot of talk  about how to reduce our dependence refers to getting off social media, deleting apps, removing notifications and so on. We do this for a while and then we are back to square one. How should one deal with this disease of distraction? Does Vedanta have any helpful teachings to deal with this?

We may think distractions are everywhere. It is difficult to have a conversation with anyone for more than half an hour without someone’s phone buzzing with notifications. One can easily think that the non stop notifications or stimuli from all over are the problem. But if you objectively look at it, they are just units of perception. The sounds are just sounds. The sights are just sights. Smartphones are just smartphones, Emails are just emails and thoughts are just thoughts.

When we consider them as distractions we blame these external conditions for our restlessness and inability to focus. Might it be possible that we already were distracted and these situations just came along to arrest our minds?

It is possible that feeling overwhelmed by distraction and the very distraction itself is a symptom of the mind not being an instrument in my hands. If that is so then we can start to take responsibility.  

In the tradition of Vedanta two of the six qualities that are required of us as qualification are – uparama and samadhaanam. Uparama is defined as svadharma anushthaanam and in some instances a withdrawal like sannyasa. Samadhaanam is citta ekagrata, one pointedness in your pursuit.

Uparama involves having clearly defined priorities and commitments in life. One of my favourite quotes is –

If you are not committed to even one thing you will be distracted by everything. 

Uparama involves fulfilling my set of responsibilities towards others. Mark my words, I don’t have to fulfill any responsibility but I get to fulfill these various responsibilities because of the choices I have made. Clarity on what I do for my partner, children, parents, friends, colleagues and the community is important. Giving to them and receiving from them contributes to much happiness and harmony. While this is dynamic still an idea of what is good enough in my fulfilling the responsibility towards x, helps me focus. If I am more or less able to live upto my svadharma, there is no unnecessary rumination and over thinking. Even if there are seeming distractions I realign and focus because there is clarity.

With digital devices, I can enjoy strong relationships both online and offline. Where offline is not possible, I can use video calling and connecting with the person to be in touch. I don’t use the digital device to be away from the person but rather a tool to connect. Just as we establish boundaries regarding disturbances in that if we are in a meeting, we don’t take other calls so too when with personal relations we must experience the freedom to reject an office call or schedule to deal with it later.

Any tool whether a pen, the mobile phone or even one’s mind has to align with our values and priorities.   Only then it can be a tool in our hands and we can be the master. 

I came across this framework of digital wellness which is a helpful one. See it as a spectrum from left to right, ranging from 1. Digital detoxification, 2. Digital minimalism to the golden mean being digital wellness or Digital flourishing. On its right are excessive technology use and digital addiction. There is a helpful survey designed by Digital Wellness Institute, the link to which is present here. It would be great for you to take the survey and gather more insight into your relationship with technology. Once you have identified areas in which you want to improve, you could consider some strategies to create a more positive digital culture in your life.

Generally, we like those spiritual insights or practices that enhance what we are already doing. That is a very important stage and must be crossed to then have the space and leisure to delve deeper into why the distraction?

Samadhaanam or citta ekagrata, one pointedness is possible when one manages distraction. Rishi Patanjali who wrote the Yoga sutras delves deeper into the nature of distraction

1.30Vyaadhi-Styaana-Samshaya-Pramaada-Aalasya-Avirati-Bhrantidarshana-Alabdhabhumikatva-Anavasthitatvani-Cittaviksepah-Te-Antaraayaah

The 9 distractions which are obstacles to self knowledge are:

Vyaadhi : disease, illness.

Styaana : dullness, mental laziness

Samshaya : doubt

Pramaada : carelessness or lack of enthusiasm

Aalasaya : laziness

Avirati : craving for sense pleasure

Bhraanti darshana : false views or perception

Alabdhabhumikatva : failing to attain stages of practice

Anavasthitatvaani : inability to maintain

Cittavikshepah : distractions of the mind

Te : they are

Antaaraayah : obstacles , impediments

Let us assume that we have taken care of these distractions – …

Will that be fine to focus?

Maybe. Maybe not.

The truth is that we don’t just react to things outside us. We are so creative that we also create distractions for ourselves. One thing is to learn to manage distractions that are seemingly external but once we master these we have also have to manage the inner chatter of distraction. The compulsive drone of commentary and the constant chatter of our minds continues so that we may feel like we are in charge and secure.

Let’s say you were reminded of a memory. No problem. But because of the chatter we get carried away and work ourselves into feeling a certain way because of the reactions we build up. We create more distraction and then wonder when we are going to be free from it. 

By just watching how we build up distractions we get an insight into why we seek distraction to feel secure in ourselves and not be challenged or threatened. Unless we face this and learn to be on one’s own for some periods of time, all other attempts are just band-aid measures.

Working with our distractions is difficult because we can get distracted by our reactions for which there is no end. It can also be easy because one shifts to the pure being in and through the distraction, the boredom, the effort to become less distracted and more focused.

We learn to be with ourselves. We may have spiritually romantic ideas about being alone. Soon enough the romantic fantasies wear off and one is faced with boredom. There is discomfort. You wonder if you are supposed to so something, think something, reach some stage on your way to enlightenment.

We are confronted with our aloneness and we cannot handle it. We want to distract ourselves with some task, some project, the long to-do list. We cannot face our disappointments and the wonder of our being. There is too much vast space. We must do something. Maybe something is not quite right.

We distract ourselves from the present moment by slipping into nostalgia of the past or lamenting the past or fantasizing about the future.

We distract ourselves from the directness and immediacy of the teaching.

The teacher says – You are the fullness you seek, and you make an excuse. I don’t have adequate adhikaritvam.

More than 20 years ago I went for my first 10 day Vipassana retreat. As some of you know this involves taking a noble vow of silence for 10 days, ten hours of sitting meditation daily. The first day was great. The second day when boredom began to set in, I thought I had made a big mistake. Then there was unease because I wanted to avoid some thoughts and began to start plotting about running away from the retreat. Thankfully for me I had a peak experience after which I decided to stay. The insights that I was blessed with as the days unfolded, would not have been possible had I not stayed through the discomfort, the boredom, the stripping away of all the spiritual fantasies I had built in my head.

What I call the disease of distraction stops being a disease when you start to see how and why you seek distraction. Our digital devices are not to blame. Our distractedness is a reminder of our discomfort with oneself.

The only way to be comfortable with oneself is to be comfortable with the discomfort.

As we walk down the pathway of distraction and distractedness we see that it leads to ourselves, the greatness and expansiveness of the being that one really is.

We stop getting distracted by distraction.

One sees that the dance of distractedness is just the foreground in the background of awareness that is you.