#180 If Happiness had a voice..what would it say?

Namaste. Hello. Hi. A warm hug. This is happiness speaking!  

I am not on youtube nor on Instagram nor on Twitter nor Linkedin or any of the social media apps.

You see, I don’t need any marketing or promotion. You cannot subscribe to me nor follow me. Why?

Because I am in your heart. I am you or rather your nature.

Every time you move away from your nature, you try to return to me.

There is nothing to seek beyond me.

Once you are one with me, all is well with you. The complaints slither away.

All aspirations begin with me and everything stops with me.

Actually, I am always accessible and you are paradoxical.

You say you want happiness but you dismiss me or disregard me.

Don’t believe me – let’s try this – I will be happy when …complete the sentence with the first thought that comes to your mind, some of your responses will be –

I will be happy when I lose weight..

I will be happy when I go on a vacation or ashram.

I will be happy when I retire from work

I will be happy when I make a few millions

I will be happy when my children get into an Ivy league university

I will be happy when I fully heal from my trauma..

I will be happy when I have more followers on social media

And the list goes on…

When you do achieve some of these things, a job, partner, vacation, it seems like there is a happiness spurt but research suggests that you go back to our baseline which is an unhappy state.       

Despite your unhappy state, sometimes your experience contradicts your aspirations.

Your happiness goals still have to be achieved and yet you find yourself being happy when you hear a wonderful song or you help someone by filling up a form at the bank or you see yourself feeling grateful for all that you have been given 

The truth is we have developed the habit of being unhappy.

Yes, you heard it. And it is time to break the habit.

Or if our happiness is not in the future it lies in the sepia tinged place of nostalgia.

I was so happy and carefree when playing in school.

I was happy when I did not have responsibilities.

I was happy when we were dating.

I was happy when I got my first salary etc.

Nostalgia is a good place to visit but not a place one can stay in.

These responses reflect that happiness seems to belong either to the future or the past.

It seems like there is a baseline of unhappiness that you have and occasionally a few moments of happiness emerge.

You say you want to be happy but I find that you avoid me, happiness or you postpone being with me.

You confuse me with convenience. Yet despite all the conveniences that reduce drudgery such as the washing machine, dish washer, mixer, home delivery apps for anything and everything, you still complain.

Look at the irony. As happiness, I am the most wanted in the world and yet least received.

In the rare moments that you are one with me, you have no resistance. You are flowing with reality and in harmony. You may be with a loved one, your child surprises you with a thoughtful gesture, you complete a difficult task, you wake up refreshed, you hear birds chirping at the window as you sip your cup of tea. In all these moments, nothing dramatic has happened, the world’s problems have not been solved and yet you are happy.

The irony is that you want to be unconditionally happy but you place conditions on me.

You ask someone, ‘How are you? And the person replies ‘I am happy’, you then wonder about the reason. Or as in the old advertisement for a soap, ask – is it love or is it dove?

Do you know who else lives in in your heart along with me – Love, gratitude, connection and Dharma.

Firstly, when you are open to recognizing all that you have received and been blessed with, a natural gratitude arises. You drop your resistance to how things should be and see things and situations for what they are. If gratitude doesn’t come naturally to you, you can practice it by just paying attention to all the good that happens even in the worst of times. On the other hand, if you feel that you are entitled to everything, you can never be satisfied with anything. Even if God comes to see you, you will demand why he did not appear sooner. Gratitude softly opens the petals of your heart. You are grateful.  You are happy. 

Try being grateful and not happy. It is not possible. Gratitude and happiness walk hand in hand

Secondly, when you have love for your partner, your children, your dog, your friend, your teacher, you resonate with them. On the other hand, when the gap is big between what they should be and how they are, then you resist them and their behaviour. Whatever they do is never enough for you. Acts of adharma such as abuse are an exception. In the discovery of love for them, you feel happy in their presence and you drop your resistance with how they should be. You accept them as they are. You are happy.

Try feeling loved or loved and not happy. It is not possible. Love and happiness swing hand in hand.

Thirdly, when you connect with the other, you are happy. It does not matter whether you are extroverted or introverted. Even talking to the customer care executive or the cashier at the supermarket can make us feel connected. Research studies show that you are happier when you spend money for others than when you spend money for yourself.   When we are not connected we feel lonely and isolated. Rather than wait for someone to reach out to us, when you reach out to the other and the other may even be your plant on the window sill or the elderly person learning how to use a mobile, things change. Our Vedic tradition reminds us of our five sacred connections and hence five sacred duties to all of these – people, plants and animals, our ancestors, our teachers and our devatas.  Even if you do any action for either or all of the above everyday, you feel the connection you have. You are connected. You are happy.

Try feeling connected and not happy. It is not possible. Connection and happiness dance gracefully.

Fourthly, when do the right thing according to Dharma of the situation, be it standing up for yourself in an argument or refusing to argue and hugging the person or being fair to your colleagues, going for a walk, you experience the glow of doing the right thing. On the other hand, when you hurt someone or are hurt by someone, the dharma of ahimsa and karuna is not upheld. As a result the unkind word, the inconsiderate action, the rude behaviour may play on loop in the recesses of the mind, trying to find closure. And only when you address it, you are at peace. You are aligned with Dharma. You are happy.  Sometimes you may do the right thing which is unpopular but it still makes you happy.

Try aligning with Dharma and not being happy. It is not possible. Dharma and happiness often walk hand in hand.

To top all of this, if you discover Ishvara then I don’t just hide in your heart, your heart pulsates with love and I reflect in your eyes and your warm, happy smile.

Bhagavan Krishna says in the Gita –

Prabhavah pralaya sthaanam nidhaanam bijamavyayam 9.18

I am the one from whom the whole creation has come, into whom everything is resolved, and in whom everything has its being, in whom everything is placed and the imperishable cause.

The laws of Dharma, the laws of connection and the laws of emotion are just Bhagavan’s love – an expression of his fullness. Your body, mind, sense complex are fully pervaded by Bhagavan. If you know this, you can ‘t help be a devotee, the one who has found love for Bhagavan.

The relationship of a devotee to Bhagavan is not exclusive. It is all encompassing. You are a devotee first and only then a devotee professional, a devotee parent, a devotee partner. All forms are manifestations of Bhagavan and you look forward to doing things for these manifestations of Bhagavan appropriately – be it changing the diapers of your ailing mother or offering constructive feedback to a team member or paying off the fees of your maid’s daughter. 

Where there is love, there is happiness.    

It is this cheerful devotee, the karma yogi who discovers Ananda as one’s own nature.

And so I, happiness am you.

I hope I have set the record straight. I was always in your heart. You were the one that ignored me, denied me and looked elsewhere.   It’s not a complaint. Just an observation.

And so next time, don’t ask yourself, how can I be happy?

Ask – Why am I not allowing myself to be happy? And we can chat…if you wish. 

By the way, I am contagious and infectious. You want to make someone happy. You try being happy.

The happiness you want to see in this world starts right where you are.

It starts with you. Here and now.