#184 The Wisdom of Emotions in Vedanta

The aquamarine waters of the ocean, the fresh green of the new leaf, the bright orange fruit, the deep brown of the tree trunk – We enjoy the beautiful palette of colors we see in nature.

Likewise, there is a rich tapestry of colors and shades of different emotions available to us.

The different colors of joy are feeling cheerful, amused, delighted, ecstatic, elated, joyful, happy, content, hopeful, optimistic, proud, triumphant, relieved, enthusiastic, excited, thrilled and so on.

The different shades of anger are feeling angry, irritated, hostile, enraged, exasperated, concerned, annoyed, vengeful.

The different colors of love are feeling affectionate, caring, sentimental, tender, compassionate, desire, passionate and so on

And, the different textures of sadness are feeling hurt, disappointed, dejected, alienated, defeated, insecure, rejected, lonely, sorrowful, unhappy, ashamed,  and so on.

The canvas of our emotional landscape is formed by the range of these colors, textures and shades of emotions.

How do we relate to the different colors of nature? You see the morning sky. It is grey and overcast. Later in the day the sky is a lighter shade of blue. And closer to sunset there are shades of yellow and orange. You know that the sky changes colors all the time. You don’t resist it. You don’t get upset because the sky looks a little pink today.

You are aligned with what is. You are in harmony with the sky and it does not disturb you.  

But the way we relate to our emotions is reactive.

One step is having any emotion and the second step when we react is seeking more of it or resisting it. 

In his yoga sutras, Patanjali defines raga – sukhaanushaayi ragah 2.7

Raga is liking of anything that follows the experience of pleasure.

60-70% Dark chocolate contributes to pleasure and hence you seek it. If the chocolate is 90% dark, then perhaps there is dvesha, strong dislike. Raga is with reference to any object, person, situation.

Definition of Dvesha – dukkha anushaayi dveshah 2.8.

Dislike of anything because of the dukkha that accompanies it is called dvesha.

e.g. Spicy food caused me pain – my eyes were watering and my tongue was burning. I do have dvesha towards spicy food.

The play of Raga and dvesha, binding likes and dislikes of objects goes on in our lives.

Often our raga and dvesha extend to the emotions we experience, which are also objects of our awareness, but not seen in the same way.

Let’s look at how this unfolds –

I am sad – Means – I identify with the emotion sadness. Sadness is me. There is no separation between me and sadness.

Then, I try to get rid of sadness because it does not feel natural to me or at least I try to reduce the level of sadness.

Then? I am sad that I am sad.

This is what we call a reaction to a reaction.

And to top it all, if I add – I am a spiritual seeker and still I am sad. Now I am even more sad because of an extra self-judgment.

Spirituality may also be seen as that which helps you with emotional mastery.  No wonder we keep whirling in these pools of emotion-reaction and reaction-emotion.

Let’s go back to the first step – You said you are sad which means that sadness has come into the mind. 

What if you welcomed sadness for a conversation?

Oh..I don’t want to even think about it.

Let’s try it.

So Sadness, I am a little uneasy about welcoming you because I don’t want to be overwhelmed by you.

What guidance can you give me?

There is a pause. Slowly and surely sadness speaks

I come up in your heart because you experience loss either real or imagined.

You resist the experience and so I hang around.

That’s an amazing insight. What else?

Gain and loss – labha and alabha are constant in life. Enjoy what you have. Value the people around you. If you live a complete life then you won’t experience me so intensely.

You must allow me, sadness to pass through you.

No way, then I ‘ll be more sad.

See! Again you resist me.

What do you mean?

Well have you seen how babies sob and wail with their bodies heaving and sighing. Try that. Sometimes emotions can be stuck in the body and we allow the emotion to pass through the body by deliberate action.

Or you can listen to some really sad song and allow yourself to grieve.

Or make crying sounds in a pillow, in a safe place. 

Expression of emotion verbally and physically helps the emotion to pass through you such that you see you are more than the emotion.

In fact, you can become friends with the emotion.  

What about fear? I am afraid of death – even the thought is painful. Hence I avoid all talk about death and avoid movies revolving around loss and death. I now have dvesha towards fear and its many shades – feeling worried, anxious, apprehensive, frightened, shocked, terrified, hysterical and so on.

What if you welcomed fear for a conversation?

I am afraid of even the thought.

Let’s try it.

So Fear, I am afraid of welcoming you because I don’t want to be overwhelmed by you. What guidance can you give me?

Fear says – I come up because I want to protect you. Maybe you are pushing yourself too much. I point out the consequences to you of doing a particular action. If you don’t save now you won’t have enough after retirement. I come up so that you look at necessary information. That’s all.      

You don’t realise how much you are impacting my life. My focus is lost. I cannot get things done.

Fear says, that ‘s ok. Welcome me.

Have you seen animals shaking and shuddering after they have been chased? Dogs do it almost ten times a day. They release the build-up of threat and fear in the nervous system that came about because of the fear and the chase and the adrenaline.   

I am not a dog.

Sure, but physiologically we are wired for danger and threat. And so how about you shake your body and shudder just like an animal would. Do it in the privacy of your room or bathroom while you bring up an image of what you are afraid of. Keep doing this until you feel the fear passes through the system.

Soon enough, you will not be afraid when I walk in.

And just for argument’s sake – So what if you are scared? So what about it?

You say – I don’t want to be scared. Rather than resisting me, you can try to be curious and ask me for the guidance I offer.

A lot of our suffering is because of our reactions to our emotions.

Emotions have a play and an intelligence of their own. All shades of all emotions have an intelligence that is pervaded by Bhagavan.

There is no emotion where Ishvara is not present – however mild or intense.

There is no emotion that is outside of the order of Ishvara.   

Whichever emotion you experience it is a manifestation of Ishvara.   Is n’t that awesome?

You wanted to experience Ishvara right? By the way, every emotion you have is experiencing Ishvara.

Progressing spiritually is not an absence of emotion but allowing yourself to feel any and every emotion and dropping all resistance to it.

Just like we are in harmony with the different colors in the sky we are in harmony with the different brush strokes of emotions in the landscape of our minds and hearts.

Then it is easier to appreciate that I am other than my emotion.

I don’t try to distance myself but see the distance that exists anyway between me the person and the emotion.

I can welcome any of them. I am comfortable with any of them and if any of them leaves, I am fine too.

The raga towards happy kind of emotions reduces and so does the dvesha towards sad, fearful kind of emotions.

There is a joy born of an expansiveness of your own bigness.

Bhagavan Krishna never says – Don’t have raga and dvesha. He just says don’t come under the spell of ragas and dveshas. Hold your raga and dvesha of which emotions you should experience and should not experience lightly.      

The Atma being limitless accommodates all forms which includes emotions but remains untouched by it. The Atma that is you illumines everything.

Just like the crystal which is colorless appears red or blue or yellow depending on the object next to it, I as though become angry, sad, elated and so on.  I was always free from it anyway.

And so when different emotions come knocking on your door, I do hope you will listen to the wisdom they whisper.