#296 How do (negative) emotions help us?

We yearn to feel happy, content and peaceful.

We struggle when we experience anger, sadness and fear. Most times, we want these emotions to go away. But then, what you resist, persists.

Our emotional landscape reflects these mountains and valleys – Those words spoken in anger, the sadness of losing a loved one, the fear of death, the jealousy towards some friends, the confusion about life priorities, the guilt of an giving in to an impulse.

What if emotions like anger, sadness, fear, jealousy etc have a purpose – to better rather than torment us?

What if emotions whisper wisdom that we are not paying attention to? 

I asked this question in our recent Manoshakti course of Mind mastery with meditations and I was delighted by the responses of the students. Including some here.

What if emotions had a voice, what would they say to the Jiva, the individual?

What if emotions themselves told us what we need to do with them?

Let us listen in.

Kama, binding desire

I am Kama, binding desire.

I come to you when you encounter something or someone that ignites a deep longing within you.

I flood your senses, quicken your pulse, and fill your mind with fantasies of attainment and satisfaction.

I help you by providing motivation and drive.

Through me, you experience the full spectrum of human passion – from the subtle appreciation of beauty to the intense yearning for connection and fulfillment.

I am the force that compels you to pursue your dreams, to seek out pleasure, and to forge deep bonds with others.

Sometimes I, kama, binding desire can scale to greed. Really speaking I am just a warped manifestation of your iccha shakti, the power to desire, one of the 3 shaktis given to all beings.

What do you need to do with me, Kama, binding desire?

Don’t fight me. What you need to do with me is to acknowledge my power without becoming enslaved by it. Even Bhagavan Krishna says,

इन्द्रियस्येन्द्रियस्यार्थे रागद्वेषौ व्यवस्थितौ।
तयोर्न वशमागच्छेत्तौ ह्यस्य परिपन्थिनौ।।3.34।।

There are longing and aversion (potential) in every sense object. May one not come under the spell of these two because they are enemies. 

When you feel my pull, pause and reflect on the nature of your desire.

Is it aligned with your values and long-term well-being?

Can its pursuit bring genuine fulfilment like the desire to provide for your family, the desire to go on a vacation, the desire to grow in one’s career?

Or am I leading you towards fleeting gratification? No matter which desire, you fulfil, you always complain of never having enough and not being enough. 

Be aware of me without immediately acting on my impulses. Unchecked, I can lead to obsession, addiction, or actions that harm yourself or others.

Learn to distinguish between healthy desires and unhealthy desires which will make you go against Dharma and hence lie and cheat.  

Remember, I can be both a source of joy and a cause of suffering, depending on how you engage with me.

Maybe I am whispering the wisdom of finding contentment in the present moment, rather than constantly chasing the next object of desire.

Do not deny me or suppress all desire – that often leads to further frustration.

Align me with Dharma. Practice moderation and self-discipline alongside me.

It is possible that a great fulfillment may descend on you if you enquire into where I, kama come from. The idea that ‘You are not enough’.

Where does that come from? Ignorance of your inherent fullness.

The Upanishad declares – So akaamayat..bahu syaam prajaayeyeti..He desired – May I become many. Out of fullness that Brahman is, he manifested into many.

So Kaama can be non-binding, out of one’s fullness. You can definitely reduce my binding behaviour and have me, as a power, as iccha shakti.

I, Kama am a necessary part of the human experience, capable of bringing both ecstasy and anguish. Your task is to dance with me skillfully, enjoying the vitality I bring to life while not losing yourself in my embrace.

The jiva says – Thank you Kaama for opening my eyes to your wisdom.

My Namah to Kaama

Anger, Krodha

I am anger.

I come to you when you feel wronged, disrespected, or when justice is not upheld.

I surge through your body like a rush of heat, tensing your muscles and speeding up your heartbeat.

I come to you when your deep-rooted raagas are not fulfilled.

I help you by giving you the energy and motivation to stand up for yourself and address injustices.

I am the force that propels you to take action and to protect yourself and others.

Many a times, I come into your life forcing you to reconsider your expectations. If you find yourself getting angry all the time or angry with many people, then I prompt you to think about how realistic your expectations are  – out of life, out of yourself, family, friends, colleagues etc.

What do you need to do with me, Anger?

Acknowledge my presence without letting me control you.

Think deeply about why I am around – are your expectations from the situation realistic or unrealistic? An expectation is realistic when you expect Dharma of fairness and kindness to be practised in the situation. If so, then use my energy constructively – to communicate assertively respectfully, to make necessary changes, or to initiate positive action.

Learn to express me in healthy ways without lashing out or causing harm. If expressing me would allow Dharma to be upheld in a situation please express me appropriately. E.g. If someone jumps the queue in front of you, it is fine to tell the person – Please join the queue which ends there.

If your expectations are unrealistice, then reflect and align them with functional reality.

Every year comes a couple of days (in July-August) when initiated people chant the Gayatri mantra atleast a thousand times, chants one’s Veda and change their sacred thread.

As a part of the chants, one is also expected to do the Kamo-Akaarsheet Manyurakarsheet mantra’

Here, both Desire (Kama) and Anger (Manyu) are raised to a special  status and namah is offered to them. Even Devatas seem to be bound by these emotions.

‘Kamokarsheet’ in Sanskrit means ‘those acts that are out of desire’.‘Manyurakarsheet’   means “those acts that are committed out of anger”.

It reminds us of all our acts of omission and commission due to the force of these emotions. It is a reminder to see their shakti, to be mindful and vigilant and not to be enslaved by its power.

Kamokarsheet namo namah:

kamah karoti naaham karomi

kamah karta naham karta

kamah kaarayitaa naham kaarayita;

Esha te kaama kaamaaya svaaha:

Desire did it. Namah unto it.

Desire is doing the act. Desire did the act.

Desire is doing the act, not I (Self).

Desire is the agent not I. Desire causes the doer to act not I.

O Desire, fascinating in form, let this oblation be offered to you, Namah !

Manyurakaarsheet namo namah:

manyuh karoti naham karomi

manyuh karta naham karta

manyuh kaarayita naham kaarayita;

Esha te manyo manyave svaaha:”

Anger did it. Namah unto it.

Anger performed the act. Anger did the act.

Anger is doing the act; not I. Anger is the agent; not I.

Anger causes the doer to act; not I. O Anger, let this oblation be offered to you. Namah!

This mantra is not to get off the hook but seek forgiveness and acknowledge the power that both kama and anger hold. Our namah unto them.

Sadness, Shokah

I am sadness.

I come to you in times of loss, disappointment, or when you’re confronted with the painful realities of life.

I settle over you like a heavy blanket, slowing your movements and dampening your usual enthusiasm.

As sadness I am asking you to slow down and reflect on what is going on in your life that is making you sad.

I come sometimes when there is no closure in a situation – a lot of things have been left unsaid and a lot of things were not done by us. 

When you experience me intensely and for a long time, I am guiding you to enquire into true nature of self.

I help you gain perspective on what truly matters to you so that you learn to appreciate the good times more deeply.

What you need to do with me

Acknowledge my presence.

Don’t try to push me away or mask me with false positivity.

Sit with me, express me through tears if needed, and reach out to others for support.

Understand that nothing is permanent, not even me. This too shall pass.

I am here to help your personal growth and to help you move on in life.

Remember, I’m a natural part of the human experience, and feeling me deeply often leads to personal growth and deeper connections with others.

There are day to day situations of sadness and helplessness and then there is the fundamental human condition of helplessness which is that life ends in death. The day-to-day situations can be resolved to some extent but the fundamental human problem can only be resolved by knowing that one was always free from all loss including birth and death of the form.  

Fear, Bhaya

I am fear.

I come to you when you face uncertainty, threat or danger. 

I quicken your heartbeat, sharpen your senses, and fill your mind with vivid scenarios of what could go wrong.

I help you by preparing you for potential threats and challenges and postulating – What if ..?.

Because of me, you are able to see the consequences of your wrong action. Hence, I help you align with Dharma or the ethical framework. Hearing stories of how jivas are tortured in naraka due to their wrong actions makes you fearful and hence you are motivated to avoid suffering.

I remind you of the law of karma, the principle that every action has consequences. A healthy fear of accruing negative karma through harmful actions can motivate you to act with kindness, integrity, and compassion, thus creating positive karma and a better future for themselves and others.

I’m your built-in alarm system, honing your focus and hence you notice details or dangers that one might otherwise overlook, allowing one to make better decisions in critical situations.

I trigger your fight-or-flight-freeze response when needed.

I’ve played a crucial role in human survival throughout history.

In situations where I am present, your mind often works harder to find solutions. This can lead to innovative thinking and problem-solving.

What you need to do with me

Acknowledge my presence. Do not deny or suppress me.

Listen to my warnings without letting me paralyze you.

Assess the real level of threat in a situation and respond appropriately.

Use me to prepare and take precautions, but don’t let me stop you from taking calculated risks or pursuing your goals.

Learn to distinguish between my helpful alerts and my sometimes exaggerated responses to modern stressors. Learn to see that the intensity of fear felt is due to a build up of the game What if? If you have the freedom to ask the question, please be courteous and answer yourself. Soon, you will find that whatever happens, you can handle it.

Instead of worrying about what you can’t control, focus on what you can do to reduce the intensity of fear. This might involve preparing more thoroughly, seeking support, or breaking down a daunting task into manageable steps.

Courage is doing what needs to be done despite me, fear being around. 

Use me, fear as a guide to making ethical decisions and fulfilling your responsibilities.

Jealousy, Matsarya

I am jealousy.

I come to you when you perceive that someone else has something you want but don’t have – be it a possession, a quality, a relationship, or an achievement.

I creep into your mind like a vine, wrapping around your thoughts and tinting your view of the world with a sickly green hue.

I help you by highlighting what you truly want and value in life.

Sometimes I come when you are scrolling through social media feed consciously or unconsciously comparing yourself with someone else.

The truth is that No one can win the game of comparison. There will always be someone more richer, more wiser, more beautiful and more successful than you.  Understand that each person’s journey is unique and different from the other.

I can be a powerful motivator and push you to work hard 

I also serve as a mirror, reflecting your insecurities and areas where you feel lacking.

What you need to do with me

Acknowledge my presence without letting me poison your relationships or self-worth.

When you feel my sting, pause and reflect – Am I pointing out a genuine area for self-improvement, or am I distorting your perception of reality?

Use me as a tool for self-reflection rather than a weapon against others. We know of Duryodhana who was so consumed by jealousy that he just wanted to destroy the Pandavas. He did not seek to help himself nor were the elders successful in helping him get over his jealousy.

Channel my energy into productive self-improvement rather than resentment towards others. Remember, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side – it’s greener where you water it. Instead of fixating on what others have, focus on nurturing your own ‘garden’.

Be cautious of how you express me.

Unchecked, I can lead to destructive behaviors, damage relationships, and erode your happiness.

Work on building your self-esteem so that others’ successes don’t diminish your sense of self-worth.

Lastly, practice gratitude alongside me. While I show you what you lack, try to balance this by appreciating what you already have. This doesn’t mean suppressing me entirely – I can provide valuable insights – but it means keeping me in a healthy perspective.

Remember, everyone experiences me from time to time.

It’s how you handle me that determines whether I become a force for positive change or a source of bitterness in your life.

Confusion, Moha

I am Confusion.

I come to you when you’re faced with complexity, ambiguity, or contradictions.

I cloud your mind like a thick fog, making it difficult to discern truth from falsehood, right from wrong, or the best path forward.

I help you by challenging your assumptions and forcing you to question what you think you know.

Through me, you learn to embrace uncertainty, seek clarity, and develop a more nuanced understanding of the world around you.

What you need to do with me

Acknowledge my presence without letting me overwhelm you.

When you feel lost in my haze, take a step back.

Break complex problems into smaller, manageable parts.

Seek out additional information and perspectives.

Remember, I am not a permanent state, but a call to deeper inquiry and learning.

Arrogance

I am Arrogance.

I come to you when you’ve achieved success, when you believe you’re superior to others, or when you’re certain of your own righteousness.

I swell within you like a balloon, inflating your sense of self-importance and making you feel invincible.

I help you by boosting your confidence and driving you to take on challenges you might otherwise shy away from.

Through me, you can achieve great things, push boundaries, and inspire others with your bold vision and unwavering self-belief.

What you need to do with me

Harness my energy without letting it blind you to your limitations or the value of others.

Use my confidence to fuel your ambitions, but temper it with humility and empathy.

Learn to distinguish between healthy self-assurance and patronising arrogance.

Guilt

I am guilt.

I come to you when you’ve done something you believe is wrong, or failed to do something you think you should have.

I arise in the pit of your stomach, a heavy weight that gnaws at your conscience and keeps you awake at night.

As guilt, I help you by serving as your moral compass.

I remind you of your values and the person you aspire to be.

Sometimes you build up my intensity when trying to juggle multiple roles, and expects to do everything to perfection.

Through me, you learn to recognize your mistakes.

When you feel guilty, you take responsibility for your actions and strive to make amends.

What you need to do with me, guilt

Acknowledge my presence without letting me consume you.

Reflect on the reasons I’ve appeared, learn from the experience, and take constructive action to right your wrongs or improve yourself.

Be more accommodating towards yourself, especially while juggling multiple roles.

Learn to prioritise and do what needs to be done.

Be assertive. You will see that my intensity and frequency will come down.

Remember, my purpose is not to torment you, but to guide you towards being a better person.

And that ‘s a wrap!

Wow! How eloquent all these emotions are!

We heard from all of them – Kama, binding desire, Anger, Sadness, Fear, Jealousy, Confusion and  Guilt.

Clearly all emotions are a part of the human experience and need not be denied or suppressed.

If we acknowledge and engage with all of these constructively, they actually make us a master of these emotions.

We are able to regulate the frequency, intensity and recovery from these, which make these emotions, catalysts for our growth.

We can truly enjoy all emotions like we often do when we watch a movie. We shift rapidly from being stressed to angry to sad to jubilant to disgusted to excited and so much more. Truly it is said that you have a suhridaya, a strong and sensitive heart if you can allow yourself to experience all emotions, the essence of them, raso vai sah!

Experiencing that rasa is Ananda. 

Every emotion as subtle as it is, is a part of the laws of emotion. 

All laws of emotions are brushstrokes of Ishvara in the emotional landscape.

Then, can there be any emotion that does not manifest from Ishvara?

Can there be any emotion that is not sustained by Ishvara?

Can there be any emotion that does not resolve into Ishvara?

Where ever emotion is, there alone Ishvara is.

Namah to all emotions! Namah to Ishvara