#122 Are we half hearted or full hearted?

The 7 year old was looking forward to playing chess, catch-catch, memory game, silence game and many such games he played with his Aunt, Bua. 

As he saw her approaching the gate he shouted with much glee and enthusiasm, Bua Bua.

The people walking on the road stopped in their tracks to look at who this child was calling out to. But for this 7 year old, there was no hesitation, reluctance or half heartedness.

Only warmth, enthusiasm and excitement. 

He was full hearted. 

He was yet to be silenced by the murmurs of society and the question of ‘What will people say?’   

As we continue to grow we find parts of our heart close. 

These parts close due to fear.We see signs of this all the time. 

In Zoom meetings there are some people who never have their videos on. They participate half-heartedly and murmur some excuses.  

In an office discussion on planning for the next quarter some people never speak up even if they have really good ideas and regret later. Their hearts close due to fear of judgment.

In family discussions some of us don’t participate. We may have our reasons or rather excuses. 

Parts of our hearts close because of fear of getting hurt. 

In our attempts to multi-task, we pretend to pay attention while looking at the phone because of distraction.

Sometimes we are not full-hearted because we are too busy nursing hurts from the past or too preoccupied with the anxieties of the future.

We are not available to the present.   

Being present in the moment is being present with your full heart, being open to life and all that it brings with it.

Being open-hearted means being open to possibility.

Being open-hearted means being aware of what is happening and to be okay with it.

Our body whispers wisdom all the time.  

Just imagine if the heart functioned sub optimally we would have to be rushed to the doctor because the circulation was compromised.

While travelling through life often times we are half hearted in our attempts.

It is conditioning we picked up from going to school. Do the least minimum to get the marks. 

Our criteria for learning was not the joy of learning or the joy of applying the learning but the criteria was – Will this be on the test?

Even when people go to work this orientation of doing the least minimum can continue for some people.

The obvious truth is right where we feel sadness, despair and anger in the same heart we feel hope, optimism and motivation. And so, when we close ourselves out of sadness or hurt we become numb and indifferent but then wonder why we don’t feel hopeful. 

If indeed you were the heart of your life, you would want all the arteries and veins – all your connections to allow a full flow- a full flow of meaning, isn’t it?.

Let me tell you one of my favorite stories –

In a small kingdom, the King was fed up of the constant in fighting between his people. 

Accusations and blame flew fast and furious amongst his many departments and nothing got done. The King asked the Minister to find a solution. The Minister assured the king that he would. 

He got a tank constructed at the top of a hill. The height was such that one could put stuff into it but not see what was in the tank. 

The Minister then suggested to the King to make an announcement in the kingdom. On the night of Amavasya, the new moon night a member of each family was expected to go up the ladder, lean in and pour a glass of milk in the tank.  

The night of Amavasya arrived. Guided only by street lights, one member from each family with their covered glasses proceeded to the tank. Turn by turn they climbed the ladder, removed the glass cover and poured the contents of the glass into the tank. The guards stationed near the tank were expected to not allow anyone else near the tank. 

The next morning the king arrived with the minister. He was impatient and puzzled and scowled at the minister – Now what? The minister said, Your Highness, please climb this ladder and look into the tank.    The King trusted the Minister and climbed the ladder. When he reached the top the Minister asked – What do you see? 

And the King said – Water!!! He rubbed his eyes in disbelief and saw again – The tank was full of water! 

The subjects had been asked to pour milk and it looked like all had poured water.  With a defeated posture, he came down the ladder and asked his subjects to repeat the instructions they had received. All of them staring down sheepishly said that they had been asked to pour milk. 

The King then said,’ If that was so, then how come all that is there in the tank is water.’ Unable to bear the silence of all gathered, one child shouted aloud, “My father said that we need not pour milk as no one will notice. Why should we contribute? The others will contribute anyway.”   

Our excuses for not contributing time, effort, attention, resources come in many ways.

‘What difference will my contribution make?, it is just a drop in the ocean, Somebody or the other will contribute, 

Another excuse is – Nobody contributed to my life. I had to struggle and figure it all out.

Or

Nothing is going to change anyway’ etc  

Excessive doubt and cynicism close the heart.

If only we pause for a moment and realise that many of our reactions from a fear of being hurt are response to protect ourselves, we can do things differently.  

The ways we close our hearts and act half-hearted in our roles, is something to really think about and change.

On the other hand, Bhagavan is not stingy nor holds back in his contribution to us, at all. 

The sun shines, the air blows, the water nourishes, the earth provides stability, and the fire warms us, every moment.   

We can trust that the one who holds all the galaxies as they spin in their orbits can surely help me manage a little corner of my life.

If our parents, caregivers and teachers held back in their giving with the above excuses, we would not be where we are today. 

Our most rewarding moments are when we have been open hearted in our relationships, ready to give and receive love, gentleness, tenderness and guidance.

Some of the moments have come with great pain because of the hurt but hurt is another side of emotional dependence and that is okay.

Being full-hearted is a surrender to dharma because of the intelligence that something greater than me must prevail.

Being open-hearted is allowing ourselves to be touched because we are no longer afraid of what a situation can do to us. Even if we fear what a situation can do to us, surely we have the resources to handle it.

Being open hearted is allowing a surrender to the emotion that emerges because we are no longer afraid of what that emotion can do to us. Our own life proves to us time and time again that I am always bigger than every emotion I experience.

Being open and full hearted is reclaiming our power and strength to love, to give, to surrender.

It is a surrender to the moment not out of weakness but out of strength.

If you are the very heart of your life, then the arteries connect and strengthen all areas of your life with your karma.

How one processes the karma, the resulting samskaras, thoughts and emotions from the different parts of your life are carried back by the veins  to the heart.

We take care of blockages. And the process goes on as we face every situation with an open and full heart.