#175 Healing in the lap of Bhagavan

The Bhagavatam is a body of knowledge (one of the 18 Puranas) with stories about the many manifestations and glories of lord Bhagavan Narayana/Vishnu.

This story is about a five-year-old child called Dhruva. He is the elder son of king Uttamapaada from his first wife. He has a step brother who is the son of the other wife. One evening the family is in the garden and the boys are playing. Dhruva wanted to sit on his father’s lap. He starts climbing onto the king’s lap, when the second wife stops him. She tells Dhruva that he has no right to sit on the king’s lap because he is not her son. She shouts at Dhruva and drags him away.

When Dhruva pleads with her and starts crying, she tells him that if he really wants to sit in his father’s lap, then he needs to pray. Pray that he be born as her son. Extremely hurt and upset, Dhruva runs to his mother and tells her about what just happened. The elder queen was a gentle person who didn’t want to fill the child’s ears with poison for his step mother. So instead, she asked the child to focus on the solution suggested. She tells him that she understands he has been hurt deeply and surely he will get an opportunity to sit in his father’s lap. Prayer is important, and perhaps he can try to find an answer through prayer. Little Dhruva has been deeply affected by the incident and is willing to do anything now! He walks away from the palace and goes to a forest.

There he meets a celestial being called Narada who freely travels between all the worlds. Narada sees that Dhruva is very upset and asks him what the matter is. Dhruva tells him that he has been denied his father’s lap and has been told by his mother to pray for a solution. Then he asks Narada to help him. Narada gives the child a mantra and tells him that if he continuously chants the mantra, then Bhagavan Narayana will help him. He further instructs Dhruva to go to the bank of river Narmada and do the japa there while visualizing Narayana relaxing on Ananta, the many headed serpent. Pujya Swamiji would refer to Ananta as the original coiled mattress in a lighthearted manner. Showing Bhagavan as lying down is to indicate how effortless it is for him to maintain the entire creation that has indeed come from him. The mantra given by Narada was “Om Namo Bhagavate Vaasudevaaya” – my namaskaara to the one in whom everything and everyone resides. In other words, we are always in the lap of Narayana! Every mantra is a prayer – an invocation of Bhagavan through a sacred sound. It is a puja done through sound.

So, Dhruva starts his japa of the mantra in the forest. Five months pass. Initially he eats roots and fruits, later  surviving on water and eventually just air! What started off as a quest to gain his father’s love turns into an all-consuming sadhana that Dhruva enjoys thoroughly. The other devata-s see his intense tapasya, penance and are hassled by the power of the japa as well as the will power of the little boy doing the japa. They run to Narayana and request him to please go and take care of this devotee who is determined to meet him. Bhagavan Narayana also sees Dhruva’s tapas (austere penance) and decides it is time to go meet him.

When Narayana appears before Dhruva, initially the boy is so focused on his visualization and reveling in the japa, that he does not open his eyes. Lord Narayana then removes the visual from Dhruva’s mind’s eye. This shakes Dhruva out of his reverie and he opens his eyes. He is stunned to see Bhagavan standing in front of him exactly as he had visualized in his mind! His prayers had been answered! Dhruva is unable to speak so he stands in silence looking at the lord. Then lord Narayana touches Dhruva on his cheek with his conch (which is symbolic of giving him the knowledge of the Vedas), and Dhruva starts singing the glories of Narayana. There are eight verses of beautiful praise called “Dhruva stuti”, where he talks about his discovery of Ishvara as everything that he sees around him.

Narayana sees that this little boy, all of five years, has truly understood Ishvara (Bhagavan – Narayana himself).

Bhagavan Narayana then tells Dhruva that he will not only gain the position he wanted on his father’s lap, but he will also be king. And when he chooses the end of this earthly life, he will be the pole star in the night sky. The pole star which is steadfast and around whom the sun and its solar system, the saptarishis (7 rishis) included, all revolve. Revolving around an entity is a mark of respect and is very significant in our culture. It is called “pradakshina” and is practiced commonly in temples around the deity. It is symbolic of the wish of the devotee to know Ishvara in all his glory. The deity represents Ishvara and the devotees not only see the front facet which is decorated, but walk around to express the desire to know Ishvara from every angle and feel close to him.

Thus Dhruva, who left the palace as a small child wanting to gain his father’s love, starts back with the maturity and love gained from his tapas, and the blessing of being granted darshan of Bhagavan. Meanwhile Narada has visited king Uttamapaada who now regrets his actions and sees clearly that it was wrong to be so caught up in his obsession of his second wife that he was unable to speak up for his child at the right time. Narada listens to the king and sees him repentant for his actions. He assures the king that his son is well and will return shortly. Dhruva indeed returns. Dhruva enjoys his father’s love and continues to live a full life. At the end of 30,000 years of his rule, he leaves his earthly body and takes his place among the stars.

Young Dhruva started off wanting to gain his father’s love. He started from a position of feeling unloved. Through his shraddha and discipline, which gained him the blessing of Bhagavan Narayana, he realized that his sense of isolation and disconnection was a result of not knowing Ishvara.

It is likely that we too have through moments where we felt abandoned, uncared for or neglected. It is likely that some of us may have been abused by adult caretakers who were really supposed to protect us.

We need to heal.

We cannot allow an event to define us.

We cannot allow ourselves to be held hostage by the frozen image of what happened to us then.

It was bad enough that what happened, happened.

We don’t need to perpetuate our suffering with repeating and rehearsing unconsciously that we are unworthy. We may have managed to do okay in life by pushing aside the trauma and forging ahead but the abandoned, hurt child needs to heal. He/she is frozen in time.

You talk to Bhagavan in the form of your Ishta Devata or Devi  and ask, Do you love me?

Bhagavan says – Of course.

The abandoned part says – I don’t believe you. How can I trust you when you were not there for me?

Bhagavan says – I am so sorry that you had to go through a difficult time. Support was not available in the way you wanted it.

Yes, you say, it was all your fault, as the tears well up in your eyes.

Bhagavan says – Come let me hold you. Initially your body is contracted and feels tensed but slowly you begin to relax.

Bhagavan continues to say, I love you, sweetheart. You must know that you are lovable and completely acceptable.

You protest. If you really loved me, you would n’t have allowed me to go through that horrible time. I cannot forgive you for not being there.

Bhagavan just holds you in a loving embrace, offers no advice, no teaching. As waves of love emanate from Bhagavan, You feel loved. You feel accepted. You feel worthy. Your heart softens. You look up and ask – How do I know that you love me?

The air in your lungs,

the heat that keeps your body warm,

the water and food that nourish you,

the space within which you travel are all given by me.  

The truth is that you are always in my lap.

At every moment of every day, I look after you.

I pervade all the processes that keep your body and mind functioning along with zillion other life forms.

I am present in all the laws and principles that uphold every karma you do.

You and me make a great team. Your karma and my laws co-create this world. 

Bhagavan continues – You don’t have to prove yourself worthy to me. My love for you is truly unconditional. It does not depend on your gender, your status, your finances, your looks, your accomplishments.

My love for you does not depend on whether you reject me or insult me or humiliate me or even ignore me.

I am always there for you and yet I am not hurt by how you try to push me away.

All your emotions – good, bad and ugly are pervaded by me.

I am the only one who has been there with you for lifetimes.

If this is not love, what is?

You say – Ok, but what do I do when you are not around.

Bhagavan says – I am always around but if you are not able to sense my presence, know one thing. Your voice is my voice. Allow love to flow through your heart and into your voice and actions. Remember how lovingly I speak to you or how other loving people in your life talk to you. Don’t resist it. People may not always express their affection in the way we want.

Some people express their love through loving words of appreciation; some through physical touch, some through caring actions, Some through spending quality time or Some people are just there for you with these presence. Don’t reject other people’s affection and warmth for you.

Ok?

I had said this in the Gita, Mamaivaamsho jiva loke, jiva bhuta sanaatanah

In the world of living beings, a part of me alone exists as the jiva, which is eternal

I exist as you. Allow that to sink in your heart. You are sacred.

I accept you completely. Then why would you reject any part of you.

Allow my love to heal you.

Allow the love of others to heal you.

Allow all parts of you to be embraced.

I am just a thought away.

Remember your voice is my voice.

Om Shanti Shanti Shantih