#210 Madhu Vidya – the sweet wisdom (of mutual dependence)

‘God let me down. He let my mother die. I decided then and there that I will never depend on God for anything again’ – exclaimed a 30 year old student who had just started attending my Vedanta class.

Earlier in the same week, a 22 year-old media professional was referring to the break-up of her relationship – We had seen so many dreams together. How will I live without him? I have sworn off all relationships.

Both of them said something to the effect of – I will never allow myself to depend on anyone so much. Love hurts. Best to be independent. Never again.

The question is – What is the nature of dependence? Is it possible to ever be independent? What does that even mean, living as we are, in an interdependent world?

Mutual dependence involves a relationship between two or more entities where one depends on the other to survive, function and even thrive. 

We relate. We share.

We connect. We belong.

We grow. We change.

We enrich the other. We are enriched.

We co-create something better together.

Society grows through all types of relationships, some of which are: 

• Family relationships: As Family members – parents, children, siblings, grandparents and extended family we mutually depend on one another for emotional support, financial assistance, and practical assistance in everyday life.

• Romantic relationships: As romantic partners we mutually depend on one another for intimacy, companionship, and all kinds of support.

• Professional relationships: As Co-workers and colleagues mutually depend on one another for support, information sharing, and teamwork to achieve common goals.

• Friendship relationships: As Friends we mutually depend on one another for emotional support, companionship, and doing activities together.

• Economic relationships: As Producers and consumers we mutually depend on one another, with producers dependent on consumers to buy their goods and services and as consumers we depend on producers to provide us with the goods and services we need.

• Ecological relationships: As organisms in an ecosystem we mutually depend on one another for survival, with plants providing food and oxygen for animals, and animals helping to pollinate and disperse seeds for plants. This is also referred to as the web of life.

• Political relationships: As citizens we mutually depend on the government for protection and provision of services, while the government depends on the citizens for support and resources to function.

• Relationships with Devas: As devotees we mutually depend on devas for blessings for all our pursuits while the devas depend on our prayers and offerings to bless us. Bhagavan teaches us through the Gita.

देवान्भावयतानेन ते देवा भावयन्तु वः। परस्परं भावयन्तः श्रेयः परमवाप्स्यथ।।3.11।।

Propitiate the deities with this yajna. May those deities propitiate you. Propitiating one another, you will gain the highest good (moksha)

• Relationships with Rishis – As students we mutually depend on Rishis, Gurus and teachers for wisdom to achieve all the purusharthas of Dharma, Artha, Kama and Moksha and they in turn depend on us carrying forward the legacy of wisdom by passing it forward to the future generations.

It is clear that that across all our relationships we cannot function, live, survive and even thrive without mutual dependence. We are much the happier for it, as our relationships allow for sharing of our thoughts, emotions, ideas, resources and support which connect us with each other.

We have a greater sense of purpose as we work together towards a common goal.

And yet, in these very relationships be these political, romantic, or family there are experiences of abuse, betrayal and a denial of affection, support and resources.

We strive for a balance of restoring our relationships, reduce the over-dependence and clinging. 

We learn to rely on and trust others.

We see the other ‘s point of view and expand our own.

We also learn to communicate effectively and grow.

Sometimes Vedanta students tend to avoid relationships in the name of Vairagya.

Vairagya is dispassion and objectivity or a pleasant neutrality with respect to sources of pleasure while Dvesha is a strong reaction of dislike, aversion and even hatred towards something, some idea or someone.

Vairagya is not dvesha.

It is helpful to understand Vairagya as an objectivity born of viveka, clear thinking between what is real and what is not real, what is independent and what is dependent and what is interdependent?.   

This mutual dependence that we experience is not something to be hated or resisted. It is actually a helpful pointer to that which is ever independent of the pair of mutually dependents.  

We think the yo-yo of our emotions depends on another person.

What do the emotions of the other depend on?

The emotional landscape of people.

What does that depend on? The principles of psychology.

What does that depend on? The laws of nature.

What do the laws of nature depend on?

The intelligence and material of Ishvara that manifest as different phenomena and deities presiding over them?

What does that depend on? Consciousness that is Brahman which alone is truly one without a second, independent and the causeless cause. Consciousness that is Brahman that is the limitless sustains all principles, all names and forms and all mutual dependencies.

We learn that all mutual relationships depend on that which is independent of them all through a profound section from the Brhadaranayaka Upanishad called Madhu Vidya.

Madhu literally means honey or sweet and by extension that which is experienced by the other. Madhu as a lakshana, pointing to mutual dependence is actually pointing to the Atma that is Brahman which pervades the world of names and forms.

To indicate this, the world is divided into three parts Adhibhutam, Adhidaivam and Adhyatmam.

Adhibhutam  means the panchamahabhutas, the great elements and the elementals. Space, Air, water, fire, earth and the various permutations and combinations of these. All names and forms experienced by us are adhibhutam and this mutual relationship is Madhu, sweet.

The question is – With what do we experience the fragrance of the earth, the touch of the warm breeze, the flavours of the icecream, the sound of music, the beautiful sunset? It is adhyatmam, the body-mind sense complex.

What makes the interaction between adhibhutam and adhyatmam possible? Oh..

It is Adhidaivam – the devatas, the presiding deities of all process and phenomena that we see in the creation.

For the simple act of seeing with the eye, there is mutual dependence of the eye sense organ on light or Agni which is dependent on Agni devata.

Adhyatmam depends on Adhibhutam which depends on Adhidaivam.

Each of them are not independent of the other.

The conscious being that identifies with the body-mind-sense-complex and the conscious being that identifies with the devas, are they different? As Consciousness they are one.

The Upanisad says if you try to analyse who depends on whom, you will find that all of them are interdependent.

If two things are interdependent, then none of the factors in the world is truly independent.

If everything is interdependent then none of them are truly independent

All these three – adidaivam, at the level of the individual, adhibhutam, at the level of the bhutas and adhidaivam, at the level of devas have got an adhishthanam, which is satyam.

In other words, I am the subject when I am the experiencer of people around me. People are experienced by me as bhogyam and I am the bhokta. Likewise, the other becomes the subject and I am experienced by the other as bhogyam and hence become the object while the other is the bhokta, the experiencer.

All the beings are Madhu, the karyam or bhogyam for panchamahbahutas, earth and so on.

Just as the earth, prithvi is experienced by living beings by walking on it, living on it, burrowing in it, building on it, eating from the produce of the soil and so on, so too the earth experiences all beings as doing these various activities.  

The one who presides over Prithivi, Prithvi devata is the Madhu, experienced by all the living beings through the blessings showered in terms of stability, gravitational force and the food that we feed on.

Jivas make offerings to devas and hence our offerings are bhoga for the devas.

All living beings are the Madhu of devatas. Devatas are Madhu for all the living beings.

First we said that Adhibhutam is Madhu of all living beings, and all living beings are Madhu for all Adhibhutam.

Adhi Daivam, all devatas are Madhu for all living beings. All living beings are Madhu for Adhidaivam.

Adhyatmam is the individual jiva that is individual subtle body that is consciousness. The being identified with the body is eternal, luminous.

The jiva is Madhu for all other living beings and all other living beings are Madhu for this jiva.

By saying that, this interdependent universe does not exist separate from Atma;

The interdependent world of names and forms depends on satyam and hence has the status of mithya.

All that is here is the Atma that is Brahman that is you.

Like space which accommodates air, water, fire, the earth and all their interdependence but is untouched by any of them.

What does space depend on?

Consciousness that always exists without any boundaries and has no lack.

The one who is always independent; the one on whom everything depends and yet is unaffected by everything.

Consciousness that is you.