#303 The Sacred bond of Siblings – Lessons from Ramayana and Mahabharata
Among young people these days, it is common to refer to each other as ‘Bro’ meaning a friend, a buddy, someone close like a brother.
The relationship between siblings is one of life’s most enduring and transformative bonds.
While parent-child relationships often take centre stage in discussions about families, the sibling relationship is highly underrated and yet serves as a foundation for one’s maturity and personal growth.
Our relationships with our siblings shape our emotional, social, and psychological development from childhood through adulthood.
Our Itihaasas, particularly the Ramayana and Mahabharata, offer profound insights into the depth and significance of these sacred bonds.
Lessons from the Ramayana: The Exemplary Brotherhood
The Ramayana presents perhaps the most celebrated example of brotherly love through the relationships between Rama and his brothers, particularly Lakshmana and Bharata.
Rama and Lakshmana: The Inseparable Bond
The relationship between Rama and Lakshmana was one of love and unwavering loyalty. Lakshmana’s dedication to Rama was so complete that he chose to accompany his brother into fourteen years of forest exile, leaving behind all comforts of the palace. The Ramayana describes their relationship with the beautiful verse:
“Raghunandana Lakshmana, like Rama’s very breath moving outside his body, could not bear even a moment’s separation from his beloved brother.”
This profound connection shaped both brothers in different ways. While Rama learned the value of unconditional support and trust, Lakshmana embodied dedication. Whether it was accompanying Sri Rama and Sita on their exile or looking for Ma Sita across the forest or fighting Ravana’s army or returning to Ayodhya, Sri Rama always had Lakshmana by his side.
Bharata’s Devotion to Sri Rama: The Testament of Dharma
Equally moving is the relationship between Rama and Bharata. When Bharata learns of his mother Kaikeyi’s role in Rama’s exile and his own ascension to the throne, he demonstrates the highest principles of brotherly love. His famous declaration remains one of the most touching moments in the epic:
“The kingdom rightfully belongs to the eldest born. I am merely a trustee, waiting for my beloved brother’s return.”
When Bharata went to the forest after the death of their father Dasharatha to persuade Sri Rama to return to the palace, Sri Rama refused saying that he had to honor his word. Bharata then urged his half-brother to give him his sandals, padukas. He proposed to place Rama’s sandals upon the throne of Ayodhya, and rule as a regent for the period of Rama’s exile, as an ascetic. Bharata carried Rama’s sandals upon his head, proceeding to Nandigrama, a village on the outskirts of Ayodhya. He had the throne of Ayodhya brought to the village. Placing the sandals on the throne to represent Rama, Bharata administered the kingdom from the village.
Bharata’s actions teach us the importance of Dharma over personal gain and political ambition. Bharata stood up for what was right, even though he apparently went against his parental wishes. In the same family, the position that a sibling takes helps to contribute to the dharma upheld by the family.
The Four Brothers’ Unity
Beyond the well-known bonds of Rama-Lakshmana and Rama-Bharata, the relationship between all four brothers – Rama, Lakshmana, Bharata, and Shatrughna – offers a beautiful example of brotherly harmony. Despite being born to different mothers (Kaushalya, Sumitra, and Kaikeyi), they showed a lot of affection for each other. A famous verse describes their relationship: “The four princes grew together like the four arms of Lord Vishnu, each complementing the other, inseparable in thought and deed.”
Shatrughna’s Dedication
Often less discussed but equally significant is Shatrughna’s devotion to Bharata. Just as Lakshmana served Rama, Shatrughna dedicated himself to serving Bharata. When Bharata chose to live an ascetic life in Nandigrama during Rama’s exile, Shatrughna remained by his side, demonstrating that love and support between siblings wasn’t unique to just Sri Rama and Lakshmana.
Insights from the Mahabharata
The relationship between the five Pandava brothers also offers rich insights into sibling relations:
Yudhishthira and Bhima: The eldest and second Pandava demonstrated how different personalities can complement each other. While Yudhishthira was known for his righteousness and sometimes excessive adherence to dharma, Bhima’s protective and action-oriented nature provided balance. During their exile, Bhima often protected Yudhishthira’s principles while Yudhishthira tempered Bhima’s aggression.
Arjuna and His Brothers: The special position of Arjuna among the brothers shows how siblings can admire and support each other without jealousy. Despite Arjuna being Krishna’s chosen friend and the most celebrated warrior, his brothers never showed envy but rather took pride in his achievements.
The Twins – Nakula and Sahadeva: Known for their wisdom and skill, they complemented each other perfectly – Nakula excelled in warfare and beauty, while Sahadeva was known for his knowledge of astronomy and wisdom.
Sri Krishna and Subhadra: The Protective Bond
The relationship between Krishna and Subhadra is one of the most beautiful examples of brother-sister bonds. As the only sister among many brothers (including Krishna and Balarama), Subhadra held a special place in her family.
Sri Krishna was known for his special affection for Subhadra, often going against conventional wisdom to ensure her happiness. When he learned of Subhadra and Arjuna’s mutual attraction, instead of following the traditional path of arranged marriage, Krishna orchestrated their union. He said to Balarama, his brother: “Sister’s happiness stands above family pride and political alliances. In Arjuna, Subhadra has found her match in both heart and dharma.”
When Arjuna disguised as a sage visited Dwarka, Krishna recognized him and understood his feelings for Subhadra. Despite knowing that Balarama had other plans for Subhadra’s marriage (with Duryodhana), Krishna supported their love. He advised Subhadra to take the reins of the chariot herself and elope with Arjuna. Krishna later pacified the angry Balarama, saying: “Our sister has chosen wisely. Her happiness is our true victory.”
Throughout her life, Krishna remained Subhadra’s confidant and protector. During the Kurukshetra war, when her son Abhimanyu was killed, Krishna was there to support her through her grief
He ensured that despite being married into the Pandava family, Subhadra maintained strong connections with her maternal family
Kunti and Gandhari – While not biological sisters, these two women developed a close relationship as co-mothers-in-law. During their prime years, though they lived in the same palace, they initially maintained formal relations as co-mothers-in-law. Their relationship evolved when both faced the challenges of raising powerful sons in a complex political environment
Gandhari, despite being mother to the Kauravas, often appreciated Kunti’s dignity and righteousness. When Kunti and the Pandavas faced exile after the palace of lac incident, Gandhari was one of the few who expressed private grief. Their bond deepened significantly after the war. United in their grief after losing their children in the war, they found solace in each other’s company. Gandhari, who lost all 100 sons, and Kunti, who lost her son Karna (whom she had kept secret), shared their personal sorrows.
When Dhritarashtra (Gandhari’s husband) decided to retire to the forest, both women chose to accompany him. Together they spent their final years in spiritual pursuit and contemplation. They supported each other through the hardships of forest life, despite their royal upbringing. When a forest fire approached their hermitage, they faced death together, choosing to remain in meditation
The most touching aspect of their relationship is perhaps how two women, whose children were bitter enemies, found sisterhood in their autumn years. Their bond shows how shared grief can transcend traditional rivalries and how women often create their own support systems even within complex family dynamics.
Sugriva and Vali: Their tragic relationship in the Ramayana is a contrast to the ideal brotherhood of Rama and his brothers, showing how misunderstanding and lack of communication can destroy sibling bonds.
Initially inseparable, these vanara (monkey) brothers ruled Kishkindha together, with elder brother Vali as king and Sugriva as his devoted deputy. Their relationship fractured during Vali’s battle with the asura Mayavi, when Sugriva, seeing blood flow from the cave where they fought, assumed his brother dead and sealed the entrance as promised. However, upon emerging victorious, Vali interpreted this as deliberate betrayal and an attempt to usurp his throne. Consumed by rage, he banished Sugriva, claimed his brother’s wife Ruma, and threatened him with death.
Sugriva, forced to live in exile on Rishyamukha mountain where Vali couldn’t follow due to a sage’s curse, eventually allied with Lord Rama to defeat his brother. The final confrontation ended tragically, with Vali falling to Rama’s arrow while questioning the justice of his death. In his last moments, Vali recognized his mistakes, reconciled with Sugriva, and entrusted his son Angada to his brother’s care – a bittersweet ending to a relationship poisoned by misunderstanding, pride, and suspicion.
Modern psychological research confirms what these ancient epics illustrate – sibling relationships play a crucial role in personal development:
Siblings provide early opportunities to understand different personalities and to learn how to resolve conflicts. Amongst the many wonderful things my mother did, one thing was to not intervene when me and my brother would fight in childhood. If either of us tried to be manipulative, blaming the other person or even accusing her of being partial to the other she would remain unfazed and just ask us to resolve the fight on our own. That did wonders for our conflict resolution skills!
Having a sibling, brother or sister really teaches us about sharing a room, sharing things and having a shared experience. Siblings can really complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
We learn to negotiate and accommodate each other as often the elder one develops leadership and mentoring abilities. Siblings help shape our identity as they may compete and collaborate with us.
As siblings we provide support to each other and rely on each other during family challenges. Sometimes a crisis can drive a family apart or bring them closer together.
We build lasting bonds which often outlast the life of the parents.
From the exemplary brotherhood of Rama and Lakshmana to the protective bond between Krishna and Subhadra, these relationships teach us about loyalty, love, and personal growth.
In today’s increasingly nuclear and isolated families, nurturing strong sibling bonds becomes even more crucial for emotional well-being and our first lessons of Dharma. Even if one does not have a biological sibling, connecting with one’s cousins can be equally powerful.
The examples from the Ramayana and Mahabharata remind us that sibling relationships are not just biological connections but sacred bonds that can shape our character, influence our choices, and provide lifelong support. As we navigate the complexities of modern life, we are grateful for our brothers and sisters as we uphold Dharma with them.
