#165 Self mastery – the application of willpower and wontpower
A sprawling township spanning many miles was created on the river bank at Prayag, close to Varanasi during the Ardha Kumbha Mela. As some of you know, the Kumbh mela is the world’s largest religious gathering. Purna Kumbha occurs once every twelve years and ardha kumbh occurs once every six years hosted in any of the four locations in India – Prayag, Haridwar, Ujjain and Nasik.
As we walked towards the ghats to have our ceremonial dip in the sacred confluence of the rivers – Ganga, Yamuna and Saraswati, we spotted a few policemen on horseback. They rode their majestic horses into the crowd, barely blowing their whistles. Spotting the police amongst them, the crowds started to be more orderly and walking at an even pace towards the ghats. The difference in the behaviour of the crowds was palpable. The Kumbh Mela has an impeccable record of hardly any crime despite millions congregating there for prayers, listening to discourses, meeting sadhus and performing sadhana. I spotted some policemen having chai. I immediately went up to them, thanking them for their work in managing the crowds. They politely said that they were doing seva and enjoyed this kind of duty far more than chasing criminals. I asked them how the crowds were managed without much problem. The policeman said – ‘Most people don’t know that horses, elephants are the most gentle creatures and will never trample anyone unless provoked. But due to their size, people are afraid of being trampled and hence they regulate their behaviour. They stick to their queues and don’t transgress the barricades. Also because of the soft sand of the riverbed, riding horses and having the height to oversee the crowds is much better than being on a motorcycle.’ We chatted for a bit and then I proceeded towards the ghats, mulling over the beauty of self-regulation and Dharma.
In Vedanta we speak of both self-mastery and self-discovery. By self do we mean the Atma. No, Atma does not need mastery.
Then, the body? ..yes..
The mind?..most definitely.
Yoga sutras revealed by Rishi Patanjali defines yoga as chitta vrtti nirodha meaning mastery of the mind is yoga.
Atma-vinigraha or Self mastery is mentioned as one of the 20 important values in the 13th chapter of the Bhagavad Gita.
Self-mastery includes mastery over the mind and the body such that we use both as instruments. Before we try to control or save the world, we start with where we are. So, we can understand self-mastery as assimilating the value of Dharma and application of will power and wont power in following Dharma.
Let’s take the Dharma of Ahimsa, non-harmfulness. Ahimsa means not causing harm by any means neither by thoughts nor by words nor by our actions. It is a fundamental value of Dharma, recognized as one of the five Yamas or Restraints of Ashtanga Yoga and the foundation of Dharma.
You are a free person. Why restrain oneself? Well, we recognise that we do have a tendency to hurt or harm someone.
Her partner is not looking up from the laptop as she is narrating about the events of her family together and is just saying hmm..hmm. In response to his grunts, she gets fed up and reacts ‘You are so self-absorbed just like your mother.’ And walks out. She is hurt because he is not paying attention. What does she do? She hurts him back. She wants to punish him in some way. We are not going into whether it is justified or has an element of truth.
The caregiver was exhausted and so she just screamed at her house help because there was not enough salt in the food. We hurt the other out of frustration.
The mother who had to keep the leftovers in the refrigerator for the umpteenth time because her teenager child did not inform her that she was going to eat out is hurt because of the child’s insensitivity. She does not talk to the child because she feels taken for granted. Both are hurt – one sulks and withdraws affection, the other yells.
The grandfather is hurt because his grandchildren don’t obey nor care for him. The grandchildren are fed up of receiving unsolicited advice from the grandfather as they feel diminished by his long list of Dos and Don’ts. We hurt the other by ignoring him/her/them.
You are angry with the boss who totally ignored your contribution in the presentation and so at the first chance you share some confidential information about the boss with other colleagues. We hurt the other by taking the other’s reputation down a notch or two.
Your friend is upset with you as you did not help according to his expectation for a medical emergency and so he exited the whatsapp group that you had started with no explanation. We hurt the other by disregarding what is important to them.
The touch and look of the silk saree is so gorgeous that I don’t mind that many silkworms were killed in the process. We hurt another being because our pleasure is more important.
Everyday there are enough and more situations which prompt us to want to hurt the person or the environment.
We can appreciate and embody Ahimsa only when the implications of himsa, harm is clear to us.
We don’t want to be hurt and nor does the other person in any way.
This is our shared humanity, our shared experience of feeling universal emotions although our specific situations are different.
Hurt or harm done to us through ignoring, insulting, humiliating, sarcasm, criticism is painful.
If we have felt the pain, then our shared humanity makes us not want to inflict the pain on others.
Just like the other does not want to be hurt, I don’t want to be hurt. Have we assimilated this?
In other words, if we have understood the value of the value, we will not do himsa, or hurt the other. We will restrain the other and apply wontpower, not hurt the other.
Just like we fully embody the value of money. Let’s say you have a note of Rs 500 or 10 dollars. You have an argument with the friend. Both of you may be raging mad but you will not tear the note nor spit on it nor kick it nor deface it or throw it away. Why? You are applying your wontpower. No matter what the provocation, no matter what the mood, neither of you will destroy the inert object. The value of the note is not too much. Yet the value of money is well assimilated. You have self mastery in the way you use your willpower and wontpower when it comes to money.
Self-mastery involves assimilating the value of Dharma and how you use your will power and wont power, in following it.
When it comes to everyday interactions, have we assimilated the value of ahimsa enough such that we will not fly off the handle and end up saying things that we will regret later. Sure, we have a right to express ourselves. Can we do it in a way that is respectful and kind with everyone?
One person was talking about her husband. She said – My husband’s colleagues are all praise for him and are so happy to work with him. Are they really talking about him or is it a case of mistaken identity? He is not at all like how his work colleagues describe him – decisive, communicative and encouraging. I find him to just be the opposite, procrastinating, quiet and discouraging most of the time. Sometimes we can be selective in applying ahimsa which is really kindness towards the other.
The good news is that the different values of samanya dharma are present in everyone’s heart. To the extent that we have cultivated and nurtured the garden of these qualities to that extent we can enjoy the fragrance and fruits of Dharma.
It is important to note that ahimsa or any value is not absolute, meaning it will not apply in all situations and all places and all people. But the exceptions are very few like in the case of the defence forces or the use of himsa for self defence.
While ahimsa is a value where we apply wontpower as compared to will power, santosha, contentment is a niyama in ashtanga yoga and also an important value mentioned in Bhagavatam. We use will power to remember our blessings as we taste the sweetness of the quiet contentment that beats in our heart.
In Santosha we use wontpower in restraining oneself from complaining and finding fault all the time. Complaining can become a habit – this is not ok, that is not ok, you are not ok..I was never ok, nothing is ok. Seeing what the opposite of the value does to you and others is important for us to fully assimilate the value of the value. If you whine all the time, you will be restless, dissatisfied, will pick up a fight easily and spread unhappiness around. Needless to say you won’t have too many friends and your family members too will minimize conversation with you. On the other hand, if you were to enjoy the simple things of life much like we did when we were children, see the wonder that is life and are grateful, we have used our will power well.
Santosha is not being lackadaisical or an underachiever and hence not opposed to ambition. You have cultivated contentment for who you are and what you have. Sure, you have the potential and can aim for more.
All the values of Samanya Dharma require similar deliberation – satyam- speaking the truth, asteya – non-stealing, aparigraha – non possessiveness/clinging, brahmacharya – learning about Brahman, tapas- religious disciplines, ishvara pranidhaanam, surrender to Ishvara, shaucham, external and internal cleanliness and so on.
Self-mastery does not mean that we have to clench our fists and grit our teeth and struggle with it alone.
Shakti of Bhagavan is very much present as both willpower and wontpower in our practice of self mastery of Dharma.
We allow Bhagavan’s shakti to flow through us as we embody Dharma.
Dharma enriches the hills and valleys of society through us who are like the rivers, tributaries and rivulets of Dharma, all flowing at their own pace and in their own way as we surrender to the ocean that is Bhagavan.
To read more about the 20 values mentioned in the Bhagavad Gita, you can purchase The Value of Values book by Pujya Swami Dayananda Saraswati which is truly a world classic. The link to buy is in the description of this episode. You can also supplement with watching the 8 video series on Jnanam on our youtube channel.
